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Apple bobbing originated as a divination game to find out who you would marry. Trick-or-treating is mostly an adaptation of the Christian practice of guising, which consists of going from door to door and exchanging songs or prayers for food, but it may also be inspired by the general practice of giving food to spirits who come knocking so they won’t spoil your food, destroy your crops, bring illness, etc. You don’t know whether the masked figure at your door is a Justice For Johnny Depp Funny Don’t Shit on My Bed T Shirt child or one of the Fair Folk, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Because this is all post-Christianization (by a long shot), it’s impossible to tell how many of these individual traditions were authentic pagan practices. It’s likely that some of them are distantly descended from much older pagan traditions that we don’t have records for, the same way modern Halloween traditions are descended from the medieval ones.

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The War. Oh boy… Tread carefully… As an American please, please get your head around some proper and serious history before you arrive in the UK (or France) to tell us (nous) how grateful we should be that you “saved our asses” in the second world war. “Saving Private Ryan” is not a documentary. Be aware that 99% of US troops didn’t see ANY action in WWII until D-Day in June of 1944 – which was FIVE YEARS after the start of war in Europe. On D-Day the Allies landed 156,000 troops on the beaches of Normandy – most were NOT Americans. The decisive battle to save Britain from Justice For Johnny Depp Funny Don’t Shit on My Bed T Shirt invasion by the Nazis was (go on – guess the name) the “Battle of Britain” which was fought four years earlier in the skies over Southern England and the Channel. The Russians took Berlin – not Tom Hanks, John Wayne or Al Pacino – the Russians took Berlin – live with it. You were there for the final push when most of the hard work had been done, you helped in Africa and Italy but a bit like the first world war which ended in 1918 – when US troops turned up in 1918 – don’t over egg the pudding.
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